Updated: Feb 29, 2020
What would you do if you knew that you could not fail? What would you dream about if you had the power to achieve any goal you set for yourself? Maybe you would ask for a raise or a promotion, move to a different company or a different country, start your own business, run a marathon or climb Everest.
Unfortunately, we often lack confidence in our abilities, tend to dwell on our weaknesses and limitations and settle for far less than we are capable of. We blame outside circumstances or other people and make ourselves a victim to external forces.
What would happen if you let go of blame and take back your power? The obvious part of the answer is you won’t have anybody or anything to blame. The less obvious part is how to do it.
You might have seen the quote widely used on the internet that is attributed to Victor E. Frankl, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”.
You can’t always choose or change the circumstances of your life. You can’t change your past. You can’t change the actions of other people. There are a lot of things in the world and in your life you have no control over.
However, in any given set of circumstances, you have control over yourself, in particular your attitude and your actions. And that makes a huge difference.
You need to accept the fact that you are responsible for your own thoughts, feelings and actions.
Nothing and nobody can make you think or feel or do anything.
It’s your choice how you respond to outside environment. There are times when you make this choice consciously, but most of the times it happens without your realization.
When your life does not go according to your plan, your mind goes into a “victim mode” by default and ‘Why did this happen to me?’ question pops up in your head.
What if you could replace that question with ‘What do I need to learn from this?’ or ‘What value can I get out of this situation?’
What if you could take an action to create a life you want--no matter how small that action is—instead of wasting hours in self-pity mode.
Every day you have a choice how to live your life. There is always something you can do to impact and change your life and move in the direction you want to go.
Focusing on what you can do—right now—and taking an action can give you the ability to move forward.
Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. While there's some truth in this, a far more efficient way to build it by setting and achieving goals.
This ability to set and achieve goals will develop the kind of confidence to the point where you become unstoppable for the rest of your life.
Decide what you want in life and set your goal as if you had no limitations and whatever you wrote you could achieve.
Make a list of everything you need to achieve your goal and organize the list by sequence and priority. Set deadlines for each of your tasks. That’s how your goal becomes your plan.
Do something every day, seven days a week. No matter how small a step could be. Even a five minute task. Resolve to persist on your goal until you succeed, no matter how hard it becomes or how long it takes.
As you set your goals, keep in mind that your major goal must be measurable. There’s a basic rule that what gets measured, gets done.
Your goals must also be clearly bound by time. Make them urgent. Select a realistic but challenging deadline.
If it’s a long-term goal, such as two or three years, break it down into smaller parts, with minor goals or benchmarks, every 30 to 60 days. Create a structure of rewards that you will give yourself on the attainment of each part of your goal.
If you develop the quality of unshakable self-confidence, you would be a different person in every part of your life. With greater self-confidence, you would be more powerful, popular, likable, and persuasive.
You would experience a tremendous feeling of control and would feel happier about your life, knowing that you have the ability to take whatever changes necessary to assure that life is the way to want it.
And when inevitable problems do arise, you would turn any situation to your best advantage.